First of all, what it means, survival in Soviet prison: It means not to give in to the pressures of KGB. After all, what does KGB want from a dissident? They accuse me of being an American spy, but they know that I am not an American spy, they know that I have no secrets. They want me to say publicly that they are right and I'm wrong, because it's important for the Soviet regime that every person is under control. I have to decide every day whether to say yes to KGB and to be released, or whether to say no. The basis of your resistance, of saying no, is the feeling that as long as you continue saying no, you're a free person, that freedom which you found when you started speaking your mind. The moment you say to them "yes," you will go back again to that slavery of the loyal Soviet citizen.
Now, this intuitive, automatic feeling that you want to continue being free and to enjoy your inner freedom, in prison that was the basis of your resistance. But it is very dangerous to rely only on intuition, on non-rational things. As a religious, national person, I was relying on my instincts, but as a scientist, I had to rationalize these instincts. I had to explain to myself, rationally, why I should not cooperate with them. I had to make sure that I was controlling my behavior during interrogations, in spite of the fear, which they could insert in me, threatening to sentence me to death. That's why I developed the whole system of rationalization, of what are my aims and means. I was writing in my mind the whole tree of my behavior, and the reasons why I should say no to KGB. It was very important rational support; but in fact, the basis of it was irrational, the basis of it was this feeling of inner freedom which I wanted to keep in myself.
